![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
I wish I could have written any of the song lyrics by the fabulous Leah Sandler who is Good Morning Sunshine.
June 15th, 2008
complacentFebruary 3rd, 2008
Comment on this entry, and I will:
1. Tell you why I friended you.
2. Associate you with something - fandom, a song, a color, a photo, a word etc.
3. Tell you something I like about you.
4. Tell you a memory I have of you.
5. Ask something I've always wanted to know about you.
6. Tell you my favorite user pic of yours.
7. In return, you must post this in your LJ.
1. Tell you why I friended you.
2. Associate you with something - fandom, a song, a color, a photo, a word etc.
3. Tell you something I like about you.
4. Tell you a memory I have of you.
5. Ask something I've always wanted to know about you.
6. Tell you my favorite user pic of yours.
7. In return, you must post this in your LJ.
December 31st, 2007
Mandatory End Of The Year LiveJournal Reflection Entry.
2007, you have done me well, and not so well. There's been crazy times, and more crazy times, and then some even crazier times on top of those. From start to finish this has been one wild ride, and a pretty good year, at least compared to the last one. A lot of things have changed for the better, or not the better.
I kicked some old habits, or so I thought. Then proceeded to lose track of myself, as I always seem to do. As always I've made some stupid choices and have been the biggest idiot ever to walk the face of the earth, but that doesn't matter. Because I'm starting a new year, I'm on a role, and to quote Queen, you can't stop me now.
I'm sticking with my old friends, because if it's not broken, why fix it? But I'm making some adjustments to life.
I am taking the wise advice from one of my best friends that I shouldn't care so much what anybody else thinks. I shouldn't let people get to me and make me feel badly, especially not about myself. No one can hurt me without my own consent, and I should do what I feel is right no matter the opinions or pressures of those around me. This advice, these words, they mean more to me than almost anything else anyone has told me this year. So they are my resolution, the first new years resolution I have ever seriously made, to remember these words, and to live by them. They always say that you can find inspiration in the most unlikely places, and that's exactly where I found it.
So really I don't think I need to talk about all of the events of the past year, I just need to remember them myself, the good, the bad, and the ugly. I am finally ready to say goodbye to this year, and welcome the new one with an open mind.
I think that even though I left this entry to the last possible minute, that it was the best possible minute. Now as I leave this year I have one thing to say, bring on the new year, I'm finally ready for it.
optimisticDecember 30th, 2007
I need a little bit of help from you guys. You see, I never make a New Years resolution, but for some odd reason I really want to this year. The problem is I have no idea what to pick, so if anyone has any suggestions or helpful hints they would be much appreciated.
December 24th, 2007
Just a reminder that I love you all.
Happy Christmas everyone.
Happy Christmas everyone.
happyNovember 30th, 2007
Ten things you wish you could say to ten different people.
1. You are my one true love. Really you are one of the best friends that I have ever and will ever have. No matter what happens to us, ten minutes later we laugh about it. I could never forget you even if I wanted to, but who would want to. Wherever we go in life, I will always love you.
2. Oh my goodness. You are one crazy [not so] little girl. Another one of my best friends. I couldn't even survive two whole days not talking to you, it drove me out of my mind. Your chatspeak I will just have to live with. Love you too.
3. Even though I haven't known you very long I feel I can trust you. Thanks for being there, and no matter what anyone else says, I think you're great.
4. If I ever had a brother in a past life, it would have been you. YOU WILL LOSE. YOU ALWAYS LOSE. [cackle] =]. But seriously, Crash Fist Fight?
5. [Spazz][Flail][Yell][Laugh][Grin]
6. I love you so much I would let you be Dee. [Would not will]
7. Beast. In quite the most charming and lovely way.
8. I don't see you much this year but what I do see of you I enjoy. Stay loud.
9. You were the biggest influence on my life [next to my parents of course] and you mean[t] more to me than almost anyone else. I still love and remember you.
10. You make me nervous, tounge-tied and confused. I'm conflicted. What you said was cliche, predictable and made little sense to me. I don't know how to react around you. I wish you could have just told me why before you told everyone else, actually it would be nice if you would tell me at all. And as stupid as it is, I might still feel something for you.
Nine things about yourself.
1. I hate yellow highlighters.
2. I would rather be barefoot.
3. I am an extreme colorer.
4. I love anything to do with words.
5. I couldn't live without music.
6. I love snicker doodles
7. I rarely ever find trust easy.
8. I am more emotional than you think.
9. I don't fall easily, but I fall hard.
Eight ways to win your heart.
1. Make me smile. Its really quite easy. I grin like a six year old with crayons.
2. Make me laugh. Its not that hard.
3. Have your own mind. Say what you think, not what you think people want to hear.
4. Hug me.
5. Be witty. I like a guy who isn't afraid to poke fun at me.
6. Embrace your geeky side, and mine.
7. Think outside the box.
8. Know my favorite flower. Yes I have a favorite flower.
Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
1. Friends.
2. Family.
3. Random song lyrics.
4. My current "issues".
5. Softball.
6. Odyssey.
7. Food.
Six things you wish you never did.
1. Lied.
2. Fight.
3. Ignore.
4. Procrastinate.
5. Deny.
6. Fear.
Five turn offs.
1. Stupidity.
2. Overly argumentative.
3. Laziness.
4. Lack of passion, for anything.
5. Constant self doubt.
Four turn ons.
1. Creative.
2. Thoughtful.
3. Intelligent.
4. Attractive.
Three smileys that describe your life.
=]
=/
=P
Two things you want to do before you die.
1. Finish my list.
2. Know the answers.
One confession.
1. I may seem to be unemotional, but in reality I'm not. I have a spastic range of emotions, you'll just be lucky to see all of them. If I trust you, cherish it because it is something hard to earn and easy to lose. I have trouble putting faith in love, but I try. I try to be all that I can and show people all the things bouncing around inside of me, its just difficult to do that. Life can be [is] complicated.
discontentSeptember 17th, 2007
Comment to this post saying something - anything - about me. I'll then put what you've said in my profile. This means that you can say I eat babies, and it will still go up to describe me to the world. Then post this in your journal, so we can do the same thing for you! I will leave it in my profile for at least a month.
And on a much more important note:
Today Emily is your day and nobody can change that.
"You're just as sane as I am" well actually you're twice as sane if not more so. You help to balance out mine and Megan's crazyness, that is when you're not adding to it. Tweedles have to stick together =D. You are brilliant in more ways than you could ever imagine and I love your spontinaity. I know this isn't much but I just wanted you to know that I'm wishing you a very happy birthday and many more to come.
Love,
Dakota
June 30th, 2007
Thanks to the magnificent Mr. Rachel
1. Leave me a comment saying that you want me to ask you 5 questions.
2. I respond by asking you five personal questions so I can get to know you better. If I already know you well, expect the questions may be a little more intimate.
3. You will update your LJ with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview ask someone else in the post.
5. When others comment asking to be asked, you will ask them five questions.
========================================
My Questions Answered:
Rachizzle-
You are currently sleeping in my room, madam xP
1. Describe the perfect shoes.
Converse High Tops obviously, canvas, they would be something like the ones I designed and ordered the other day. With the (Red) patter in gray and black on the sides, the same pattern in white and red on the back with speak in bold black letters across the heel, the rubber lining is black with red accents, the tounge is also red with black laces and black lining.
2. If you could trade places with any one person in the world for a day, who would it be and why?
I would love to direct on broadway even though it would only be for a day, I just think it would be an amazing experience and I would be so giddy, jumping up and down and around forever.
3. If you were a Heroes character, what power would you want and how would you use it?
I would want to be able to fly. Of course to be able to help Peter to save the world and because It would make me feel like Peter [Pan not Petrelli] and even thinking of Peter Pan makes me act like a goofy little kid.
4. Do you work better with leisure time or under pressure?
It doesn't really matter to me which I use, I know I procrastinate really badly but that just makes me have to work faster it doensn't mean anything else changes for me really.
5. Do you write? [I RAN OUT. I'M SORRY.]
Yes Rachel I do write. You know that, I know that, everybody knows that =P. Though recently I've been trying to start up some Harry Potter Fan Fiction and am having trouble working it all out. The hard thing is getting up and going really, once im up and running I'll just keep going. So if you have advice or help that'd be nice too =D.
dorkyJune 29th, 2007
Okay so right about now I am completely and totally freaking out. This is because I started to doze off about thirty minutes ago and woke up suddenly about ten minutes ago a] because the dogs were barking and b] because I had a dream that almost gave me a heart attack.
So I don't really remember how it is that it started off but I do know how it ended. It ended with my dad telling me that him and my mother lied to me about why they divorced, that it wasn't because they had "differnt things they wanted out of life" [of whatever it was.] He said it was because my mother left him for another woman as in Claudia and that the reason he and Terri's relationship didn't work was because he is still in love with my mom.
That would just be weird and not quite so ... odd if it werent for the fact that my dad's name is Mark and my mothers middle name is Maureen, and there are striking [personality not appearance] resemblences between Joanne and Claudia, and then when I turn on the computer and put iTunes on shuffle, "Without You" comes on.
Well now that I'm done hyperventalating and I've realized that this dream is in no way plausible or possible I have something else to put in here...
========================================
Whether you are homosexual or not, you should repost this in support of your friends and loved ones who are. Love is not defined by color, creed, or gender.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another
woman.
I am the boy who never finished high school, because I got called a fag everyday
I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they
could adopt me.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the woman who died when the EMTs stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didnt have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am a warrior for my country serving proud, but can't be my true self because gays aren't allowed in the military.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
I am the person ashamed to tell my own friends I'm a lesbian, because they constantly make fun of them.
I am the boy tied to a fence, beaten to a bloody pulp and left to die because two straight men wanted to "teach me a lesson."
This is the boy, Matthew Shepard. On October 7, 1998 Aaron McKinney and Russell Henderson lead him to a remote area east of Laramie where they demonstrated unimaginable acts of hate. Matthew was tied to a split-rail fence where he was beaten and left to die in the cold of the night. Almost 18 hours later he was found by a cyclist who initially mistook him for a scarecrow. Matthew died on October 12 at 12:53 am at a hospital in Fort Collins, Colorado.
He was killed because of his homosexuality.
I don't know why I'm posting this here so don't ask, I guess it just sort of struck me because it's a cause close to my heart.
Dakota[Will Hopefully Be Going Back To Sleep]
So I don't really remember how it is that it started off but I do know how it ended. It ended with my dad telling me that him and my mother lied to me about why they divorced, that it wasn't because they had "differnt things they wanted out of life" [of whatever it was.] He said it was because my mother left him for another woman as in Claudia and that the reason he and Terri's relationship didn't work was because he is still in love with my mom.
That would just be weird and not quite so ... odd if it werent for the fact that my dad's name is Mark and my mothers middle name is Maureen, and there are striking [personality not appearance] resemblences between Joanne and Claudia, and then when I turn on the computer and put iTunes on shuffle, "Without You" comes on.
Well now that I'm done hyperventalating and I've realized that this dream is in no way plausible or possible I have something else to put in here...
========================================
Whether you are homosexual or not, you should repost this in support of your friends and loved ones who are. Love is not defined by color, creed, or gender.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another
woman.
I am the boy who never finished high school, because I got called a fag everyday
I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they
could adopt me.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the woman who died when the EMTs stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didnt have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am a warrior for my country serving proud, but can't be my true self because gays aren't allowed in the military.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
I am the person ashamed to tell my own friends I'm a lesbian, because they constantly make fun of them.
I am the boy tied to a fence, beaten to a bloody pulp and left to die because two straight men wanted to "teach me a lesson."
This is the boy, Matthew Shepard. On October 7, 1998 Aaron McKinney and Russell Henderson lead him to a remote area east of Laramie where they demonstrated unimaginable acts of hate. Matthew was tied to a split-rail fence where he was beaten and left to die in the cold of the night. Almost 18 hours later he was found by a cyclist who initially mistook him for a scarecrow. Matthew died on October 12 at 12:53 am at a hospital in Fort Collins, Colorado.
He was killed because of his homosexuality.
I don't know why I'm posting this here so don't ask, I guess it just sort of struck me because it's a cause close to my heart.
Dakota[Will Hopefully Be Going Back To Sleep]
tiredJune 3rd, 2007
Since I'm tired, hungry and kinda bored too I figured I'd post something.
Then again on the account of the fact that I have no idea what to write how about this,
You know Rachel's last post on the characters and what not well feel free to torment me too.
I mean why not it's not as if I have anything better to do, oh and if anyone has fan fics I could read I would love you :D
Tweedle Out
boredMay 27th, 2007
Newsflash:
No high school softball for me, my decision nobody elses.
Too much pressure, the coach is an ass, maybe next year.
So I'm sticking with Babe Ruth for another season :D
That means I might try for Seminole Soccer or Lacrosse...
Maybe both, I dunno I guess we'll find out soon enough.
hyperMay 21st, 2007
Don't Let This Be Goodbye
As I look back and think about
All the times we've shared
I go through the thoughts and memories
I begin to realize what everybody means to me
They say you don't know
What you've got until it's gone
Well tomorrow you will be
And some of us won't be coming back
So don't make any promises
That you might not keep
And don't forget our friendship
And all that we have been
Don't let my memory slip away
And fade from you forever
Remember who we are
Remember how we were
Remember what has past
And look for whats to come
So as we part I'll say I love you
As we go I'll tell you that I care
I'll make a promise I know I'll keep
That I wont forget what I now know
All of the things you mean to me
So don't shed a tear on my behalf
Walk away and don't look back
Because I just can't let this be the end
This parting is not forever
I know you'll be back with me soon
If You Don't Let This Be Our Goodbye
"This is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But perhaps it is the end of the beginning."
Anne Frank
As I look back and think about
All the times we've shared
I go through the thoughts and memories
I begin to realize what everybody means to me
They say you don't know
What you've got until it's gone
Well tomorrow you will be
And some of us won't be coming back
So don't make any promises
That you might not keep
And don't forget our friendship
And all that we have been
Don't let my memory slip away
And fade from you forever
Remember who we are
Remember how we were
Remember what has past
And look for whats to come
So as we part I'll say I love you
As we go I'll tell you that I care
I'll make a promise I know I'll keep
That I wont forget what I now know
All of the things you mean to me
So don't shed a tear on my behalf
Walk away and don't look back
Because I just can't let this be the end
This parting is not forever
I know you'll be back with me soon
If You Don't Let This Be Our Goodbye
"This is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But perhaps it is the end of the beginning."
Anne Frank
sadMay 12th, 2007
So our 8th grade dance was amazing and I absolutely loved it.
I proved two things
A] I am not a box :P
B] White girls can dance xD
All of us pegasus kids were together all night and it was incredible.
The weird thing that Sam pointed out was Dillon. Yea I [slow] danced with him [by his request]. And me and him are just friedns and I think we're both perfectly content with that. Then when she [Sammy Sam Sam Sam xD] sleeps over she just randomly bursts out and says "you know you may not realize it yet and you probably won't like it when you do but you're slipping back into the whole Dillon thing" So now I'm spazzing out about her being right but whatever.
The thing that I really dont like is Michael Davis. Dana asked him out again last night. He said yes. They are a them again. Sadly. I do not like him. I especially don't like him with her. He's too clingy. And he's just one of those people I don't like. I can't pinpoint exactly why I just don't. And I don't want to be mean to him or tell her I don't like him cause that would just be kinda mean so. Grrrr.
Fie fie on them.
So anyways that's all for now.
Dakota[My Hips Don't Lie]
P.S. Since when can pegasus kids grind?
chipperApril 30th, 2007
Aagkjaldfjasdlfjadklsfjlsfjaaasdsfkjdlfa;j
Ohmygosh I want him. Bad.
April 22nd, 2007
Uhm,
I am beyond confused, about everything.
I am soooo extremely lost.
I have absolutely no idea whats going on anymore.
Help, please?
blankApril 2nd, 2007
I am fed up with this. I'm fed up with her.
I can't take it any longer.
I don't want to have to deal with anymore of her stupid mood swings or tempertantrums.
Or all the rest of her stupid problems.
I will do everything and anything it takes to not have to live with my sister full time anymore.
Sure it was a great idea just having our parents switch at first, or so it seemed. She was better then. Much much better. But now it's gotten to the point that all bets are off and all the doors are open. Anything could happen.
It has reached the point where I would switch houses every two weeks instead of my parents.
I would attend two different schools if I had to.
Start another life somewhere else while I deal with this one.
I would spend less time with my friends than I do. And you all know how much I love you.
This is the part that will show you how much I hate this.
I would even give up going to Seminole next year just to get away from her.
It has really come down to the point where it's not that I won't live with her or that I don't want to.
It's that I can't. I really truely just can not live with my sister.
I can't take it any longer.
I don't want to have to deal with anymore of her stupid mood swings or tempertantrums.
Or all the rest of her stupid problems.
I will do everything and anything it takes to not have to live with my sister full time anymore.
Sure it was a great idea just having our parents switch at first, or so it seemed. She was better then. Much much better. But now it's gotten to the point that all bets are off and all the doors are open. Anything could happen.
It has reached the point where I would switch houses every two weeks instead of my parents.
I would attend two different schools if I had to.
Start another life somewhere else while I deal with this one.
I would spend less time with my friends than I do. And you all know how much I love you.
This is the part that will show you how much I hate this.
I would even give up going to Seminole next year just to get away from her.
It has really come down to the point where it's not that I won't live with her or that I don't want to.
It's that I can't. I really truely just can not live with my sister.
gloomyMarch 4th, 2007
You know what I just realized?
I am an emotional wreck.
Fin.
restlessJanuary 28th, 2007
Have you ever read a good book? Or better yet have you ever read a fantastic series of books. Yes I know what at least *one* of you is thinking. DUH Dakota havent you heard of Harry Potter and ASOUE. But this is different, very, very, different. Let me put it in context for you.
I just finished the third and final book in the Uglies trilogy. It was Uglies, Pretties, Specials. And I have to say they are three of the best books I have ever read. And I've read my fair share of books. But there's something different about these three. Not only are they well written and attention grabing but they're also quite provocative. [No not like that I mean they make you think] (Damn Teenagers.) Anyways.
I love that feeling that you get when you finish a great book/series.
When you're left with that sense of completion. Yet you want it to go on.
You're confident in what you known. But you want to know more.
You think about things you never would have thought of.
You feel changed. Yet the same.
Your mind is racing at light speed. But slow enough for comprehension.
The questions you had were answered. And you were left with more still.
Thinking backwards. And forwards.
You know exactly what you feel. But you're so confused.
Don't ask me why I love these things, but I do.
Its something that not everyone can appriciate but those that do know exactly what I mean.
Or maybe they dont either way.
But what im trying to say is, well I dont know exactly what Im saying.
Maybe you'd just understand better if you read the books for yourself.
Which isnt a bad idea. *HINT*
I strongly suggest it for anyone, anyone at all.
As long as you have nothing against well writen novels.
If you do then I must not know you so go away.
Well I think that pretty much covers it.
Other than that I'm done for now.
I Love You All.
She'sASecret.
I just finished the third and final book in the Uglies trilogy. It was Uglies, Pretties, Specials. And I have to say they are three of the best books I have ever read. And I've read my fair share of books. But there's something different about these three. Not only are they well written and attention grabing but they're also quite provocative. [No not like that I mean they make you think] (Damn Teenagers.) Anyways.
I love that feeling that you get when you finish a great book/series.
When you're left with that sense of completion. Yet you want it to go on.
You're confident in what you known. But you want to know more.
You think about things you never would have thought of.
You feel changed. Yet the same.
Your mind is racing at light speed. But slow enough for comprehension.
The questions you had were answered. And you were left with more still.
Thinking backwards. And forwards.
You know exactly what you feel. But you're so confused.
Don't ask me why I love these things, but I do.
Its something that not everyone can appriciate but those that do know exactly what I mean.
Or maybe they dont either way.
But what im trying to say is, well I dont know exactly what Im saying.
Maybe you'd just understand better if you read the books for yourself.
Which isnt a bad idea. *HINT*
I strongly suggest it for anyone, anyone at all.
As long as you have nothing against well writen novels.
If you do then I must not know you so go away.
Well I think that pretty much covers it.
Other than that I'm done for now.
I Love You All.
She'sASecret.
thoughtfulJanuary 15th, 2007
I am about to do something I have been wanting to do for a long time. So if you do not want to hear another rant about Sean please leave now. And you might notice that this is not private, because you know what Sean I want you to know what I think of you right now. You may not like it but it's better if you know.
I don't doubt that you all remember what happened back in December at the beginning of winter break. I doubt that I will ever forget about it. I found out something about two of my friends that broke my heart. It took a few days but we slowly began to sort things out and I thought that maybe things would slowly go back to "normal." I knew things would never be how they were but I had hoped with some work a few things would repair themselves or get better but I guess I was wrong.
Session Start (dakotaepo:rockurdude13): Sun Dec 17 18:38:00 2006
[18:38] rockurdude13: oh and i hope you're happy
[18:38] *** Auto-response sent to rockurdude13: i thought [you knew better]
i guess now [i know better]
a better day will come
<3
<\3
[18:41] Dakotaepo: happy?
[18:41] Dakotaepo: yea
[18:41] Dakotaepo: suuuure
[18:42] rockurdude13: no i do
[18:42] rockurdude13: i hope you're happy
[18:42] rockurdude13: i now again have the urge to run away
[18:42] rockurdude13: so yeah unless you want to say something about it
[18:42] rockurdude13: the last thing i'm saying
[18:42] rockurdude13: is i hope you're happy
[18:45] Dakotaepo: yea well sean
[18:45] *** Auto-response from rockurdude13: brb.
[18:46] Dakotaepo: you really wanna run away?
[18:46] Dakotaepo: do you really?
[18:46] Dakotaepo: if so
[18:46] Dakotaepo: heres a reality check for you
[18:46] Dakotaepo: where the hell would you go?
[18:47] Dakotaepo: and f.y.i. there are so many people out there that have it worse than you
[18:47] Dakotaepo: so cut it out with the self pity card
[18:47] Dakotaepo: and you know what i could be happier
[18:47] Dakotaepo: but yes i am happy
[18:47] Dakotaepo: i have great friends, a family that loves me, and good life
[18:47] Dakotaepo: im generally a happy person
[18:47] Dakotaepo: and you know what
[18:47] Dakotaepo: you should be too
[18:52] Dakotaepo: oh and if this secret on the survey [38. i used to cut myself. i want to run away. i kinda want to die. i think i need help. my friends are being assholes to me. need i say more?
] is yours
[18:52] Dakotaepo: its called tough love
[19:06] rockurdude13: nope
[19:06] rockurdude13: not mine
[19:07] Dakotaepo: sounds like you but anyhow
[19:07] Dakotaepo: which one was?
[19:07] rockurdude13: i didn't even put one on it
[19:07] rockurdude13: just reposted it 'cause i'm bored
[19:07] Dakotaepo: whateve
[19:07] Dakotaepo: r
[19:08] rockurdude13: oh and i could be happier if people would actually talk to me
[19:13] rockurdude13: by the way i'm the one running away?
[19:13] rockurdude13: i'm not the one ignoring people here
[19:13] rockurdude13: but that's your choice
[19:14] rockurdude13: :\
[19:30] Dakotaepo: you said you had the urge to run away
[19:30] rockurdude13: yeah spur of the moment thing ya know?
[19:31] rockurdude13: shouldn't have said that
[19:31] Dakotaepo: you say a lot of things you shouldnt
[19:31] rockurdude13: i do
[19:31] rockurdude13: i should stop that
[19:31] Dakotaepo: it took you how long to figure that one out
[19:32] rockurdude13: 'bout...i dunno
[19:32] rockurdude13: few years
[19:33] rockurdude13: meh
[19:33] rockurdude13: are you ready to talk yet?
[19:33] Dakotaepo: whats there to talk about
[19:33] rockurdude13: uhh
[19:33] rockurdude13: why you're mad at me this time?
[19:33] rockurdude13: 'cause i'm confused about it
[19:33] Dakotaepo: if i have to explain it, you wont understand
[19:34] rockurdude13: well
[19:34] rockurdude13: you could try
[19:34] rockurdude13: but if you don't want to and want to be angry for now that's cool
[19:34] rockurdude13: i'll let you cool off
[19:34] Dakotaepo: cool off?
[19:34] Dakotaepo: i dont need to cool off
[19:34] Dakotaepo: you need to clue in
[19:35] rockurdude13: well i can't clue in when nobody says anything
[19:35] Dakotaepo: weve said enough
[19:35] rockurdude13: uh
[19:35] rockurdude13: well
[19:35] rockurdude13: you've also said manymany things
[19:35] rockurdude13: 'cause apparently i do bad things often
[19:36] Dakotaepo: wha?
[19:36] rockurdude13: well i mean
[19:36] rockurdude13: you and megan have yelled at me like three times
[19:36] rockurdude13: in the past week or so
[19:36] Dakotaepo: yea we have
[19:36] rockurdude13: yeah
[19:37] rockurdude13: so that's a bit too often for my liking and i'm sure yours too
[19:37] rockurdude13: actually i wish it wouldn't happen at all but for some reason i don't think that's possible
[19:38] Dakotaepo: yea well ive been quiet and sympathetic for way too long
[19:38] rockurdude13: well
[19:39] rockurdude13: there is a way to speak your mind and be sympathetic too
[19:39] rockurdude13: it's just hard
[19:39] rockurdude13: sometimes
[19:39] Dakotaepo: no there isnt always
[19:39] rockurdude13: well
[19:39] rockurdude13: do you try to understand everyone's viewpoint?
[19:41] Dakotaepo: yes yes i do
[19:44] Dakotaepo: (Link: http://sockrchic17.livejournal.com/)http:
[19:44] Dakotaepo: here
[19:45] Dakotaepo: megans livejournal
[19:45] Dakotaepo: so you know what you put her through
[19:46] rockurdude13: she's wrong on two things
[19:46] rockurdude13: i met ariana the sunday after we broke up
[19:46] Dakotaepo: what?
[19:46] rockurdude13: not before
[19:46] Dakotaepo: WHO CARES
[19:47] rockurdude13: and i didn't like her right away
[19:47] Dakotaepo: whatever
[19:47] Dakotaepo: thats not the point
[19:49] rockurdude13: yeah the point is i'm a cruel and heartless person yes
[19:49] rockurdude13: i realize this
[19:49] rockurdude13: and you know what i think while i read this?
[19:49] Dakotaepo: WHAT?
[19:50] rockurdude13: i wish she would've spoken up so she wouldn't have this pain
[19:50] rockurdude13: and i feel really bad that she does
[19:50] Dakotaepo: THIS ISNT ABOUT YOU
[19:50] Dakotaepo: ITS ABOUT HER
[19:50] Dakotaepo: SHE FUCKING
[19:50] Dakotaepo: ugh
[19:50] Dakotaepo: no talk to her
[19:50] rockurdude13: koda
[19:50] rockurdude13: koda
[19:50] rockurdude13: i realize it's about her
[19:50] rockurdude13: but what i'm saying
[19:50] Dakotaepo: just
[19:51] rockurdude13: i am partially at fault
[19:51] Dakotaepo: got in the chat
[19:51] Dakotaepo: *go
Session Close (rockurdude13): Sun Dec 17 21:28:04 2006
Session Start (dakotaepo:rockurdude13): Sun Dec 17 22:17:17 2006
[22:17] *** NOTE: This user is offline. Your messages will most likely *not* be received!
[22:17] Dakotaepo: you should feel bad
[22:17] Dakotaepo: blaming me
[22:17] Dakotaepo: suspecting id do something that stupid
Session Close (rockurdude13): Sun Dec 17 22:17:59 2006
Session Start (dakotaepo:rockurdude13): Sun Dec 17 22:18:29 2006
[22:18] rockurdude13: i believe you thought i changed my password so you couldn't get on when i didn't?
[22:18] *** Auto-response sent to rockurdude13: i thought [you knew better]
i guess now [i know better]
a better day will come
<3
<\3
[22:18] Dakotaepo: i had reason to suspect
[22:18] Dakotaepo: megan said she couldnt get in
[22:19] Dakotaepo: whats your reasoning?
[22:19] rockurdude13: well i mean
[22:19] rockurdude13: you two were both yelling at me
[22:19] rockurdude13: you might've tried using my myspace password as my aim password and gotten in
[22:19] rockurdude13: i can't even remember my aim password :S
[22:19] rockurdude13: well not yelling
[22:19] rockurdude13: but you were mad
[22:19] Dakotaepo: oh yea i would do that for another reason to be mad at you
[22:19] Dakotaepo: cause i love being mad at you
[22:19] Dakotaepo: that makes complete and total sense
Session Close (rockurdude13): Sun Dec 17 22:20:29 2006
Session Start (dakotaepo:rockurdude13): Sun Dec 17 22:59:56 2006
[22:59] *** NOTE: This user is offline. Your messages will most likely *not* be received!
[23:00] Dakotaepo: so?
[23:00] rockurdude13: so...yes?
[23:00] *** Auto-response sent to rockurdude13: i thought [you knew better]
i guess now [i know better]
a better day will come
<3
<\3
[23:00] rockurdude13: i talked with megan
[23:00] rockurdude13: and she's not uber pissed still
[23:00] rockurdude13: thankfully...
[23:00] Dakotaepo: neither am i
[23:00] rockurdude13: well
[23:00] rockurdude13: that's good
[23:00] Dakotaepo: but im not willing to just put this all in the past
[23:00] rockurdude13: well
[23:00] Dakotaepo: brb
[23:00] rockurdude13: no offense
[23:00] rockurdude13: but
[23:00] rockurdude13: duh
[23:00] rockurdude13: okay
[23:00] rockurdude13: psh neither am i though
[23:00] rockurdude13: i need to learn my lesson
[23:03] Dakotaepo: yea you do
[23:03] rockurdude13: well i'm glad we agree on that
[23:03] Dakotaepo: and im not sure just how much i can trust you anymore
[23:03] rockurdude13: that's cool
[23:03] Dakotaepo: so you've got to earn some of it back
[23:03] rockurdude13: i understand
[23:03] rockurdude13: well
[23:03] rockurdude13: i'll tell you then
[23:03] Dakotaepo: and you 've just really got to work at all of this
[23:03] rockurdude13: i did change my myspace password
[23:03] rockurdude13: just for now
[23:03] Dakotaepo: thats fine
[23:04] rockurdude13: okay
[23:04] rockurdude13: well trust me koda
[23:04] rockurdude13: i'm trying
[23:04] Dakotaepo: i know you are
[23:04] rockurdude13: but it doesn't work if you don't tell me when i do something bad
[23:04] Dakotaepo: but you cant just depend on other people
[23:04] Dakotaepo: ill tell you
[23:04] rockurdude13: you're right i can't
[23:04] rockurdude13: but
[23:04] rockurdude13: when you hide it
[23:04] rockurdude13: it's hard to learn
[23:04] Dakotaepo: im not hiding it anymore
[23:04] Dakotaepo: i told you
[23:04] rockurdude13: i know
[23:04] rockurdude13: and that's good
[23:04] rockurdude13: hiding bad
[23:05] Dakotaepo: my sympathy and whatnot is shot, gone out the window
[23:05] rockurdude13: well
[23:05] rockurdude13: unless you're playing poker
[23:05] Dakotaepo: you'll know sean
[23:05] rockurdude13: uhh
[23:05] rockurdude13: fully
[23:05] rockurdude13: as in
[23:05] rockurdude13: if i like
[23:05] rockurdude13: go into the hospital for a reason that's not my fault
[23:05] rockurdude13: you won't care?
[23:05] Dakotaepo: no, my sympathy for the whole "pity me" and guilt trip thing
[23:05] rockurdude13: oh
[23:05] rockurdude13: good
[23:05] rockurdude13: i don't know how that happens
[23:05] rockurdude13: i really don't
[23:06] rockurdude13: but i'll try
[23:06] Dakotaepo: im not gonna deal with your shit anymore, im gonna call you out on it
[23:06] Dakotaepo: thats how im gonna help
[23:06] rockurdude13: okay
[23:06] Dakotaepo: but you have to do the rest
[23:06] rockurdude13: good
[23:06] rockurdude13: but
[23:06] rockurdude13: koda
[23:06] rockurdude13: i know you're probably not in the mood for favors
[23:06] rockurdude13: but do me one please?
[23:06] Dakotaepo: what?
[23:06] rockurdude13: uhh
[23:06] rockurdude13: when you're like
[23:06] rockurdude13: "calling me out"
[23:06] rockurdude13: can you try not like
[23:06] rockurdude13: cursing at me?
[23:06] Dakotaepo: yea
[23:06] rockurdude13: okay
[23:06] rockurdude13: that's all i ask
[23:06] rockurdude13: well that and just doing it period
[23:07] Dakotaepo: im sorry, but that had been built up for so long
[23:07] rockurdude13: i know
[23:07] rockurdude13: koda
[23:07] rockurdude13: did i yell at you at all?
[23:07] Dakotaepo: no, i know you didnt. and i know i did, but i had been wanting to say some of those things for the longest time
[23:07] rockurdude13: i know koda but that's what i'm saying
[23:07] rockurdude13: i understand WHY you were yelling
[23:08] rockurdude13: you probably could've done it in a better way
[23:08] rockurdude13: but i still understood
[23:08] Dakotaepo: exactly
[23:08] rockurdude13: so don't worry
[23:08] rockurdude13: well i don't think you would be
[23:08] rockurdude13: but i'm not mad or anything at you
[23:08] Dakotaepo: and as long as you know the getting back the trust and respect you lost, and working on this, will take time, im willing to stick it out with you
[23:08] rockurdude13: so i'm guessing no sleepover?
[23:08] Dakotaepo: i dunno
[23:08] rockurdude13: =[
[23:09] rockurdude13: darn
[23:09] Dakotaepo: hey, what you need comes before what you want
[23:10] rockurdude13: yeah i know
[23:10] rockurdude13: but i've never had a sleepover with a girl
[23:10] rockurdude13: aaaand you're kinda the only girl i know that can do it
[23:10] rockurdude13: but you're right
[23:10] rockurdude13: unfortunately
[23:11] Dakotaepo: "/
[23:11] rockurdude13: i just
[23:11] rockurdude13: really wish that this didn't happen
[23:11] rockurdude13: because the thing that stinks
[23:11] rockurdude13: is that it could've been so that it didn't
[23:11] rockurdude13: :\
[23:12] Dakotaepo: what if you hadnt done that?
[23:12] rockurdude13: that's life though
[23:12] rockurdude13: well
[23:12] rockurdude13: yes
[23:12] rockurdude13: or
[23:12] rockurdude13: if you had told me this stuff
[23:12] Dakotaepo: yea
[23:12] rockurdude13: isn't it amazing
[23:12] rockurdude13: thinking if something else had happened
[23:12] rockurdude13: but yet at the same time depressing
[23:13] Dakotaepo: yea
[23:13] Dakotaepo: it is
[23:13] rockurdude13: gosh high school is poopy
[23:13] rockurdude13: erm
[23:13] rockurdude13: drama
[23:13] rockurdude13: sometimes i forget you're in a different grade
[23:14] Dakotaepo: lol
[23:14] Dakotaepo: yea
[23:14] rockurdude13: sigh
[23:14] rockurdude13: you'll be here tomorrow won't you?
[23:14] Dakotaepo: probably
[23:14] Dakotaepo: why?
[23:14] rockurdude13: hold on
[23:15] rockurdude13: will not talking about this anymore tonight make it worse for you?
[23:15] Dakotaepo: why?
[23:15] rockurdude13: 'cause i really want to just lay on my bed and play pokemon
[23:15] rockurdude13: not have to think about it for right now
[23:15] rockurdude13: just try to relax
[23:16] Dakotaepo: okay
[23:16] Dakotaepo: thats fine
[23:16] Dakotaepo: you undestand what you've gotta do
[23:16] Dakotaepo: thats all i want
[23:16] rockurdude13: oh trust me koda
[23:16] rockurdude13: i understand when you tell me
[23:16] rockurdude13: but like i said
[23:16] rockurdude13: sometimes it has to sink in
[23:16] Dakotaepo: go ahead
[23:16] rockurdude13: i wasn't just making things up when i said that
[23:16] Dakotaepo: let it sink in
[23:16] rockurdude13: i almost started crying talking to megan
[23:17] Dakotaepo: ive been on the verge of tears the whole time
[23:17] rockurdude13: me too
[23:17] Dakotaepo: i hate fighting with you
[23:17] Dakotaepo: but sometimes
[23:17] rockurdude13: i deserve it?
[23:17] rockurdude13: or it has to happen?
[23:17] Dakotaepo: i just cant help but be pissed off
[23:17] rockurdude13: that too
[23:17] rockurdude13: i mean you know sometimes
[23:17] rockurdude13: when i say like i deserve it
[23:17] rockurdude13: you have to agree
[23:18] Dakotaepo: meh
[23:18] Dakotaepo: i guess so
[23:18] rockurdude13: i don't actually want pity
[23:18] rockurdude13: you know that right?
[23:18] Dakotaepo: i do now
[23:19] rockurdude13: well yeah
[23:19] rockurdude13: if it seems like i'm trying to ge tit
[23:19] rockurdude13: *get it
[23:19] rockurdude13: ...
[23:19] rockurdude13: i'm not
[23:19] Dakotaepo: okay
[23:20] rockurdude13: oh and koda
[23:20] Dakotaepo: yes?
[23:20] rockurdude13: thank you
[23:20] Dakotaepo: its what im here for
[23:20] Dakotaepo: :]
[23:20] rockurdude13: lol
[23:21] rockurdude13: that's why i need you
[23:21] rockurdude13: :P
[23:21] rockurdude13: ie
[23:21] rockurdude13: why i try so hard to not fight
[23:21] rockurdude13: like
[23:21] rockurdude13: why i wasn't saying anything
[23:21] rockurdude13: didn't want to make you more mad
[23:21] rockurdude13: i was in a bit of a sticky wickett
[23:21] Dakotaepo: yes yes you were
[23:21] rockurdude13: well
[23:21] rockurdude13: i'm glad you see that
[23:21] Dakotaepo: just promise me one more thing
[23:21] rockurdude13: hm?
[23:22] Dakotaepo: never ever do anything that stupid again
[23:22] Dakotaepo: for your own sake
[23:22] rockurdude13: you trust me enough to make me make a promise?
[23:22] Dakotaepo: until you prove that i cant hold you to something like that
[23:22] rockurdude13: fair enough
[23:22] rockurdude13: i promise koda
[23:23] Dakotaepo: okay
[23:23] Dakotaepo: good
[23:23] rockurdude13: anything else you want me to promise you?
[23:23] rockurdude13: no cutting myself still?
[23:24] Dakotaepo: yea
[23:24] Dakotaepo: that would be stupid as well
[23:24] rockurdude13: yes
[23:25] rockurdude13: have i said anything about it recently?
[23:25] rockurdude13: nope
[23:25] Dakotaepo: so would running away, [unless my mom said you could come here]
[23:25] Dakotaepo: XD
[23:25] rockurdude13: lol
[23:25] rockurdude13: so you do want me to come over
[23:25] rockurdude13: ?
[23:25] rockurdude13: :P
[23:25] Dakotaepo: now?
[23:25] Dakotaepo: no
[23:25] Dakotaepo: psh
[23:25] rockurdude13: oh
[23:25] rockurdude13: well
[23:25] rockurdude13: ...
[23:25] rockurdude13: darn
[23:26] rockurdude13: you realize how long it'd take me to "run" away to your house?
[23:26] Dakotaepo: ahaha yea
[23:26] rockurdude13: i'd leave one day and be there the next
[23:26] Dakotaepo: ahahah yea
[23:27] rockurdude13: maybe one day
[23:27] rockurdude13: :P
[23:27] Dakotaepo: lol
[23:28] rockurdude13: well i want to relax
[23:28] Dakotaepo: so goin to bed?
[23:28] rockurdude13: nonono
[23:28] rockurdude13: i just dont' want to think about any drama at the moment
[23:28] rockurdude13: kinda chill
[23:28] Dakotaepo: ah
[23:28] Dakotaepo: that works
[23:28] rockurdude13: unfortunately
[23:28] rockurdude13: if i'm talking to you i'll want to talk about it
[23:28] rockurdude13: no offense
[23:28] rockurdude13: that's just how i am
[23:29] Dakotaepo: diddo
[23:29] rockurdude13: so
[23:29] rockurdude13: i've got a new sn
[23:29] rockurdude13: and for now
[23:29] Dakotaepo: i dont think we could talk about anything else right now
[23:29] rockurdude13: i won't tell you it
[23:29] rockurdude13: yeah
[23:29] Dakotaepo: ?
[23:29] rockurdude13: yeah
[23:29] rockurdude13: i've got a new sn
[23:29] Dakotaepo: why?
[23:29] rockurdude13: well 'cause i still want to tal kto people
[23:29] rockurdude13: it helps not think aobut it and relax
[23:29] Dakotaepo: i dont get it
[23:29] Dakotaepo: but whatever
[23:29] rockurdude13: well if i stay on this one you'll be on
[23:29] rockurdude13: and i'll see your name and be like
[23:29] rockurdude13: "gaaaaaaaaaah must talk"
[23:29] rockurdude13: like when you ignore me
[23:30] rockurdude13: you don't know how badly i just want to say "boo"
[23:30] Dakotaepo: lol
[23:30] rockurdude13: but i know you'll yell
[23:30] rockurdude13: so i don't
[23:30] rockurdude13: xD
[23:30] rockurdude13: anyway
[23:30] Dakotaepo: yea im getting a new one too
[23:30] rockurdude13: that's why
[23:30] rockurdude13: really?
[23:30] Dakotaepo: for the same sorta reasons
[23:30] Dakotaepo: yea
[23:30] rockurdude13: ah
[23:30] rockurdude13: but you won't be on it all the time will you?
[23:30] Dakotaepo: no
[23:30] rockurdude13: okay
[23:30] rockurdude13: same goes for me
[23:30] rockurdude13: just times like this
[23:30] rockurdude13: for now
[23:30] rockurdude13: afterwards
[23:30] rockurdude13: if this works out
[23:30] rockurdude13: i'll use that one
[23:31] rockurdude13: 'cause
[23:31] rockurdude13: everybody freakin' makes fun of rockurdude13
[23:31] rockurdude13: plus it's old
[23:31] Dakotaepo: okay
[23:31] rockurdude13: anyway
[23:31] rockurdude13: *sighs*
[23:31] rockurdude13: busy day
[23:31] Dakotaepo: yea...
[23:31] rockurdude13: actually
[23:31] rockurdude13: what were you doing all day?
[23:31] rockurdude13: 'cause i did call you to see if you ere still going to the movies
[23:31] rockurdude13: but you didn't answer
[23:31] Dakotaepo: nothing much
[23:31] rockurdude13: oh
[23:31] Dakotaepo: eat sleep, tree
[23:31] rockurdude13: what's this tree?
[23:32] Dakotaepo: christmas tree
[23:32] Dakotaepo: decorating
[23:32] rockurdude13: ohhhh
[23:32] Dakotaepo: none of the inside joke tree
[23:32] Dakotaepo: XD
[23:32] rockurdude13: oh
[23:32] rockurdude13: well what's that?
[23:32] rockurdude13: i thought you were talking aobut htat
[23:32] rockurdude13: :P
[23:32] Dakotaepo: no
[23:32] rockurdude13: that's why i asked
[23:32] Dakotaepo: you dont wanna know
[23:32] Dakotaepo: besides
[23:32] Dakotaepo: go relax
[23:32] rockurdude13: uhh
[23:32] rockurdude13: koda
[23:32] rockurdude13: yes i do
[23:32] rockurdude13: :P
[23:32] Dakotaepo: ima do the sam
[23:32] Dakotaepo: e
[23:32] rockurdude13: well
[23:32] rockurdude13: can you make a promise for me?
[23:33] rockurdude13: er
[23:33] rockurdude13: try to
[23:33] rockurdude13: 'cause i'm thinking this may not be a good promise
[23:33] rockurdude13: but anyway
[23:33] rockurdude13: do you think
[23:33] rockurdude13: someday you can tell me?
[23:33] rockurdude13: i know i don't need to know anything but if it's an inside joke and you say it a lot
[23:33] rockurdude13: well
[23:33] rockurdude13: it helps to know
[23:33] rockurdude13: you know?
[23:33] Dakotaepo: yea
[23:33] rockurdude13: okay
[23:33] rockurdude13: so you think someday you can?
[23:33] Dakotaepo: yup
[23:33] rockurdude13: okay
[23:33] rockurdude13: i'll *try* to not bug you about it
[23:33] rockurdude13: :P
[23:34] Dakotaepo: okay
[23:34] rockurdude13: okay
[23:34] rockurdude13: night night koda
[23:35] rockurdude13: >.>
[23:35] rockurdude13: <.<
[23:35] rockurdude13: *hugs*
[23:36] Dakotaepo: night
[23:36] Dakotaepo: *hugs*
[23:36] rockurdude13: yay
[23:36] rockurdude13: :P
[23:36] rockurdude13: have fun relaxing
[23:36] Dakotaepo: right back at you
Session Close (rockurdude13): Sun Dec 17 23:37:04 2006
That was the last time we have had an actual conversation that had some sort of substance. Other than that its been just the "hey sup not much" sort of thing. We havent talked at all for almost 2 weeks. Yea that is a great way to make things better, earn back my trust respect and friendship, and to earn back his dignity. That is just fantastic. I mean I had tried to instigate actual conversation but after the fifth time of that not working I just stoped trying, because you know what he never even tried at all. So maybe my friendship doesn't matter, maybe it's worthless I don't know, but I do care. Apparently he doesn't. And I'm sick and tired [as is Megan] of him hinting at the fact that we don't care and that all his problems are because of us. And i'm sick and tired of him just hinting at it, if you think it just say it. After all thats what im doing.
So you know what Sean I'm going to say what I think. My message for you is this. Either you make an effort, or nobody else will try to. You need to stop expecting everyone to pity you and all of your supposed "problems." It's just a little thing called life, you need to get used to it. I care about you so if you care about our friendship start showing it.
I do believe that message was loud and clear. If not, tough shit.
On a lighter note Sam, Dana and I went with my mom to find myself a dress for my aunts wedding, they both found their dance dresses and I got my dress for the wedding. Sorry Megan and Rachel but my mom wanted to get it over with and not leave it to the last moment. So I got an awesome dress [ask for details] [I'll have to have you guys over to see it] and black flats to go with it. So I am very happy about that. Sam and Dana got awesome dresses to. So yea I'm in a good mood, except for that rant.
blahJanuary 7th, 2007
Session Start (Innocent Regrets:baddogdab): Sun Jan 07 21:50:28 2007
[21:50] baddogdab: Dude i have to tell u this
[21:50] InnocentRegrets: ?
[21:51] baddogdab: You have cganged alot this year
[21:51] InnocentRegrets: good or bad?
[21:51] baddogdab: Both
[21:51] InnocentRegrets: ?
[21:52] baddogdab: But alot bad
[21:52] InnocentRegrets: wha?
[21:53] baddogdab: Yah
[21:53] InnocentRegrets: well can you elaborate
[21:53] baddogdab: Well you are a bit meaner
[21:54] InnocentRegrets: meaner?
[21:54] baddogdab: Yah
[21:54] InnocentRegrets: how so?
[21:55] baddogdab: Like you treat ppl diffrent
[21:55] InnocentRegrets: how?
[21:56] baddogdab: Like jackie style
[21:56] InnocentRegrets: ahahah. no.
[21:58] baddogdab: Ahahah. Yes.
[21:59] InnocentRegrets: whatever dana
[22:02] baddogdab: What
[22:02] baddogdab: Dude you know what ive had it
[22:06] InnocentRegrets: you and me both
[22:06] InnocentRegrets: besides you're calling me mean
[22:06] InnocentRegrets: you slapped kyle for throwning a vanilla wafer at you
[22:08] baddogdab: Dude just idc screw you
[22:08] InnocentRegrets: fine
[22:08] InnocentRegrets: just
[22:08] InnocentRegrets: fine
[22:09] baddogdab: Sory wrong person
[22:09] InnocentRegrets: ?
[22:10] baddogdab: Wth
[22:11] baddogdab: Dont use that kyle line on me
[22:11] InnocentRegrets: dont use the jackie line on me
[22:11] baddogdab: Wtvr
[22:12] InnocentRegrets: fine
[22:12] baddogdab: Fine
[22:13] baddogdab: Idc any more
[22:13] InnocentRegrets: whatever you say
[22:14] baddogdab: Ok
Session Close (baddogdab): Sun Jan 07 22:14:08 2007
First off is it just me or everytime one of my friends is no longer mad at me another one finds a reason to be?
Well now that i've asked that onto the real point of this post.
I know i've changed in the past year, I mean everyone changes every year. I'm not so naive not to know that people are going to change. But has it really been a bad change? Have i really gotten meaner? Is she really right? Or is it just her? Maybe I have gotten meaner, I mean maybe I have maybe I haven't I really dont know. Perhaps after everything thats happened to me in the last year, i've gone backwards. Maybe all those walls I had finally torn down after all those years are putting themselves back up. Maybe after everything that i've gone through im scared of staying the same, maybe i'm scared of letting the walls stay down, of opening up to people the way i've learned to. Maybe thats not the right thing to do. I guess I wouldn't know. Maybe you can tell me. Because I feel I need to know the truth no matter how much it hurts.
depressed